Hello managers,
It’s Dad back again with a quick update to the
trackers before we get to the next World Cup. The clock was ticking and Dad
never fails to follow through on a promise, so here it is.
Before we jump into it though, I’d just like to give
the Column’s loyal readership a heads up that the World Cup racing schedule will
be different at the upcoming World Cup in Heerenveen. Instead of the women’s 3000m and men’s
5000m, this weekend will feature the women’s 5000m and the men’s 10,000m. These
A Division events are even smaller than normal, so we should expect only the top 11 skaters
in the long-distance rankings to be fighting for points along with the winner
of B Division in Calgary. Unlike in other events, the top 3 in B Division will not
be moved up this weekend.
This also has a slight knock-on effect since these events
take so long to get through and they fill an unbelievably large chunk of the schedule.
To make it all fit in the schedule, there won’t be a 2
nd
500m event
this weekend, meaning your sprinters will get one less race at WC3. If you’ve
got a meh 500m skater, this might be the weekend when you bench them in favour
of someone else. Unless your name is Ryan, in which case all you have is 500m
skaters and you don’t really have much of a choice on whether or not you want
to active your sprinters this weekend. Sometimes there are perks to drafting a
somewhat diverse team!
Injury Tracker
Tatsuya Shinhama –
I
previously claimed he had been injured in a car accident, but turns out it was
a bike accident. Maybe he got hit by a car? All I know forsure is that the end
result was a bike split in half and a long recovery. He then fell in his 1
st
500m in Calgary, but things seemed to come together for his 2
nd
500m
in B Div with a very strong time (would have been top 6 in A Division). He
looks like he’s mostly fired up and ready to go, so we’ll take this Japanese
beast off the injury tracker.
Kim Jun-Ho –
Insane
wipeout while at top speed as he became the 7
th
fastest male sprinter
of all time? Check. Visit to the hospital? Check. World Cup gold 7 days later?
Fucking rights dude. This guy might actually just be invincible. Glad to see he’s
alright after a scary moment in Salt Lake City.
The Canadian Men’s Team Pursuit –
After
a heartbreaking fall at the end of what was shaping up to be a very quick race
in Salt Lake City and a suboptimal race in Calgary, this team has been diagnosed
with
not being good enough to make the Olympics.
Better luck next time,
fellas. Four years isn’t too long a wait.
Yevgeniy Koshkin’s Lap –
Imagine skating the 100m opener world record and then only beating one finisher in A Division
over 500m. Imagine winning the opener again the next day with another very fast time and then finishing dead last over 500m. Koshkin’s 25.3 lap has been diagnosed as
disgustingly bad.
Buddy
better get his shit together.
Connor Howe –
Sucks
to see a guy with this kind of talent struggle, but he’s definitely going
through something. He scratched one race at World Cup 1, all his races at World
Cup 2, and won’t be racing the rest of the fall circuit. Managers should put
him on the bench for now and cross their fingers that he can bounce back in
early 2026.
Team Gold –
I
don’t know what is up with these studs, but goddamn has their performance been
utterly uninspiring. For a team led by Miho, one of the GOATS, their collective
results have been really disappointing. If they aren’t sick, then they’re probably
at least dealing with some damaged egos.
Patrick Roest
– Things are quiet over in the Netherlands… no status update on this guy yet but
as we approach Dutch trials (which is barely 3 weeks away) this guy’s health
status should become more of a storyline. An Olympics without Roest would have
been unfathomable only a year ago, but is looking more and more likely.
Mitch Whitmore’s Infamy –
At
one point he was known for being fast at speed skating. Then he was known for
taking an insane number of strides in his 100m opener. Then he was known as a
pretty solid coach. Now he’s known for allegedly doing some naughty things with
some naughty American skaters and being smart enough to catch it all on video. Yikes.
Mitchy boy has officially been diagnosed with
being famous for all the wrong
reasons.
Kimi Goetz
– Speaking of Mitch, this almost-future-Ms-Whitmore-turned-American-superstar is
still recovering from surgery and likely won’t be relevant for fantasy speed skating
purposes anytime soon. She’ll be removed from the tracker until a legitimate
update is available and we wish her all the best in her recovery. No one likes seeing
good skaters dealing with shitty injuries.
Botond Bejczi and
Bálint
Bödei –
We assumed there was no cure to his terrifying
ailment, but it turns out that Bezczi, the Hungarian Juggernaut, is no longer
the worst 500m skater in Hungary. Thanks to the even worse performance of Bálint
Bödei the Unknown, the Hungarian Juggernaut has been cured of being
a
national embarrassment.
The Hungarian Juggernaut managed to beat one skater
when he raced in Calgary, while Bödei the Unknown tragically finished dead last
in SLC. Of course, they couldn’t compete at the same events—the “official” statement
is that Hungary is too much of a shithole to earn a second 500m quota, but there’s
long been speculation that Bejczi and Bödei are actually just the same person. Nonetheless,
pour one out for Bödei the Unknown who, whether or not he isn’t Bejczi, now
suffers from this terrifying and often-fatal disease.
Merel Conijn –
Just
a quick reminder that this somewhat pathetic excuse for a Dutchwoman isn’t actually
hurt, but just decided that she’s probably best off training and tapering while
the rest of the national team goes to World Cups to earn Olympic quota that she
surely imagines herself filling come February. She’s definitely a bit selfish,
and I wouldn’t be mad if her strategy turned around and bit her in the ass.
Free Agent Tracker
Now that we’re two weekends into the season, it’s time
for most managers to start at least keeping an eye on what is available to them
in their pool. If things are going well enough for you then don’t feel the need
to rush into a free agent pickup, but you should at least keep tabs on names
you might have in mind for some big points from the World Cup rankings payout
or potential upgrades for the Olympics.
Beatrice Lamarche –
After
a phenomenal World Cup 1, Lamarche was quickly picked up in the four pools she
was drafted in. She is no longer available as a free agent.
Finn Sonnekalb –
He
was only available in one pool and, much like Lamarche, was very quickly picked
up as a free agent. Sonnekalb will now be removed from the tracker.
Lee Na-Hyun –
It
is quite amazing to me that this very talented Korean sprinter is still available
in multiple pools. She’s already hit the podium this season, skates in A
division 3 times per weekend at almost every World Cup, and is essentially guaranteed
spots at both the Olympics and World Championships. For managers like Robert or
Rachel+Daria, Lee would currently be the best skater on your team. Good news
for y’all is she is still available in your pools.
Bjorn Magnussen –
With
18 points to his name at World Cup 1, this beefy Norwegian sprinter was quickly
picked up by the most sprinter-heavy team in the league. He then went on to
earn only a single point at WC2 and will only race one 500m at WC3, so if you
had your eyes on this guy it might be best to give it another week of thought.
He’s still available in 4 pools.
Greta Myers
– Well she ain’t exactly off to a good start, but she did have that one good
mass start race last season so there’s a chance she wouldn’t be a total waste
of your time. To misquote Darius: “Myers—she’s a buy!”
Marten Liiv –
He
was drafted in all five pools and started off the season strong with 36 points
over two World Cups. He’s ranked 32
nd
in the skater rankings and yet…
someone still dropped him?? This one may prove to be a blunder in the long run
as Liiv is always good for steady World Cup points, a nice classification
bonus, and a long taper for the Olympics that won’t be interrupted by any sort
of national Olympic trial event (literally the only upside of being Estonian).
He’s also probably going to head into World Sprints with the 4
th
best 500-1000m combo behind Stolz, Zurek, and de Boo. But hey, Adam, suit
yourself. I guess you didn’t want this guy.
Beau Snellink
–
This Dutch long-distance skater is brimming with potential. It may have taken
him a moment to get the engines fully running but he’s now made his way into A
Div just in time for a guaranteed-points 10,000m weekend. Odds are in his
favour that he starts doing some serious damage from here on out. Buddy is still
available in one pool.
Chung Jae-Won –
Despite
my pre-season sales pitch for this reliable Korean mass start finisher,
managers seem to be losing interest in him. He was only free in one pool, but
now he’s free in three pools. He’s currently beating Ted Jan-Bloemen, Isabelle
Weidemann, Davide Ghiotto, and 61 other skaters in the skater rankings. With
his silver medal performance in Calgary, maybe his free agent outlook has
changed.
Zhiwen Xue –
After
a pair of back-to-back sub 34 second 500m races, it was only a matter of time
before a manager was brave enough to make a bet on this relatively unknown
Chinese sprinter. One manager has now done that, making Xue a free agent in
only 4 pools.
Gabriel Odor –
Despite
a relatively short history of earning fantasy points, Odor seems to have really
upped his game going into this season. World Cup 2 was a bit of a breakthrough for
him and, if he can keep the momentum going, he could prove to be a solid
pickup. He’s still free in one pool.
Bart Hoolwerf
– He probably doesn’t deserve to be a free agent, but there are just so many
solid options out there that it shouldn’t surprise me that no one has touched
him since the season started. He also hasn’t done himself any favours by
missing both mass start podiums by a pretty wide margin. Though if history repeats,
then we can likely expect this Dutchman to string together a good race or two and
may even get picked up in any of the three pools he’s still a free agent in.
Finally, don’t forget racing resumes this Friday in Heerenveen
with World Cup 3. This means that
any roster changes need to be submitted by
11:59 PM Mountain Time on Thursday, December 4
th
. With the
slightly different racing schedule, make sure to adjust your team appropriately.
Happy World Cup watching!
Cheers,
Dad