Hello speed skating enthusiasts,
What. A. Weekend. World Cup 3 in Calgary did not
disappoint at all. After some suspiciously slow weekends of racing earlier in
the year, the ice maintenance crew somehow got the Olympic Oval’s crumbling infrastructure
to make it through an entire weekend without turning the oval into a puddle the size of an Olympic sized
swimming pool. And the skaters, to our delight, brought their A Game
too as they fought for time quota spots at World Champs. Our reward? A weekend full
of PBs, world records, junior records, national records, and drama.
I don’t even know where to start with this one. I don’t
feel like writing a full recap, so I think I’ll just cherry pick some of the memorable
moments and throw in some commentary about the upcoming weekend too.
World Cup 4 – Calgary… and beyond
Ghiotto Strikes Again
After skating a world record time in the 10,000m this
fall in Inzell only to be told it wasn’t an official world record since nobody was
there to test him for dope, Ghiotto *officially* claimed the title in the
10,000m in world record fashion. No one came close to him. At this point, this
distance is his to lose on home ice at the Olympics next year.
Do Those Even Count?
There was a severe lack of enthusiasm from too many people
when Jilek smashed the junior world record in the 10,000m and when Daleman
destroyed the 1500m junior world record. The first was allegedly “not a real junior
distance”, but I remember just two years ago when Sigurd Henriksen broke that record
and people said they cared. Jilek just took 25 seconds off that time… that’s a
full second a lap. Unless he does it himself later this year, it’s hard to
imagine that junior record ever falling again. And, as for Daleman’s race, just
a few years ago on crazy fast Salt Lake City ice Joy Beune skated a 1.54 during
a weekend in which she smashed half the existing junior world records. Daleman
took almost two full seconds off that time and went 1.52,38. I cannot put into
words how insane that is. Sorry, Joy, but you’re a thing of the past now.
Do You Know What Poland Is?
Do you? Do you really? Because Sky Guy sure didn’t
when he announced Metodej Jilek’s 10,000m race. Maybe that’s why he went so fast—fueled
by the anger of boomer North Americans still incapable of telling eastern bloc
countries apart 35 years after the Berlin Wall came down. Or maybe it was the
anger of being “accused” of being Chechen all weekend, also by Sky Guy. In fact,
I’m starting to think Sky Guy should take credit for that junior world record!
De Boo Lives Up To The Hype
The young Dutch stud was a very early pick in most
pools despite a relatively short resume in long track. The teams that bet on
him have quickly been rewarded as de Boo is currently 2
nd
in the
skaters rankings, trailing only Mommy Miho. More excitingly, he’s the first
skater to truly test Jordan Stolz in any distance, and he managed to do it in
two distances this past weekend. His 1000m was a Dutch national record and tied
the track record set by Stolz less than a year ago. Stolz still won, but not by
much. In the 500m, de Boo once again set a national record (much bigger this
time, smashing through the 34 second barrier) and became only the 6
th
skater to break 33.90 (along with Pavel, Stolz, Larry, Shinhama, and Gao—an
incredibly stacked club). Stolz once again managed to beat him, but this time
only by two hundredths. De Boo is getting closer and closer and it seems like
it’s only a matter of time until he finally beats Stolz. It was a great weekend
of dueling between the two young men and I’m looking forward to watching these
two 20-year-olds duke it out in the sprints for years to come.
How To Smash A National Record 101
Simply be Felix Maly. He did it with ease in his B Group
10,000m and then continued with grace on his Instagram page. He knew it wasn’t
a fair fight against Patrick “A Group” Beckert, so he shouted the guy out as
the “best German long distance skater”, which, for those of us who remember Beckert’s
glory days (which weren’t that long ago!), I think we can all agree that Maly is
right. Maly won with class and deserves every bit of that national record. He also
earned himself a new fan! (that fan is Dad, in case that wasn’t clear.)
Felix Maly, But Worse
Maly showed us how to be a good winner. Daleman showed
us how to be a bit of a loser. After her 1000m race, she was quoted in the Dutch
media saying “I was pissed that I lost my pair but then I saw the time and was like
oh, that’s actually pretty good.” Her pair? Fucking Miho Takagi,
who hasn’t lost
a 1000m race in over a year
(and I’m not just talking about pairs, I’m
talking about full 1000m events). And her time? A single hundredth of a second
off the junior world record. I’m all for skaters with that competitive edge who
always want to be the best but, when you’re one of the fastest juniors of all
time, at some point you also have to smile and be happy with your races.
A Pregnancy In The Making
I feel like I’ve already talked about Daleman too
much, but there’s one more thing I have to say about her. One of my more
reliable sources caught Beau Snellink massaging Daleman’s back on the infield over
the weekend. Usually this would just indicate a good teammate. But, since
Daleman is underage and Snellink is a Dutch man, this means that they are fucking.
When Workhorses Don’t Work
Were you disappointed by both A Group mass starts?
Caus I was. I don’t want to take anything away from the six skaters who broke
early and each earned medals. Those medals were without a doubt earned and I’m
not here to contest that. But, when countries with two skaters in A Group
purposefully send workhorses to close gaps to help out their mass start
sprinters and then those skaters don’t do their job, that shit pisses me off.
Hoolwerf is currently the undisputed king of mass start in the Netherlands, so
he’s guaranteed a mass start spot on the circuit. They actually offered the
second spot this year to Harm Visser, another sprinter, but he turned it down because
of a knee injury. So, the Dutch federation elected to sign Bergsma up for the
mass start because he can pose a threat during breaks (despite it being years
since he’s actually done this) and he can also close gaps on breaks so that
Hoolwerf still has a chance to win a sprint finish. I guess old man Bergsma was
too busy fucking around in the pack on Sunday to remember what his job was. And
I can say the same thing about Elisa Dul on the women’s side except maybe I’ll
cut her a bit of slack since she is truly awful at speed skating right now. Hard
to close the gap on a bunch of B Group Shitters when they still smacked the Hell out of you in
the B Group 5000m the day before.
How Asian is Your Team?
The best possible answers are “barely” and “not at all”.
Not because we’re racist, but because a lot of Asian countries not called Japan
have decided to skip out on World Cup 4. With Asia Winter Games just around the
corner, it seems that a lot of skaters are choosing wealth and fame over
fantasy speed skating success. Absolutely bonkers if you ask me.
Wait, Aren’t They A Bunch of B Group Shitters?
Hmm, it seems you’re correct. But because a pile of Asian
skaters won’t be there, you can expect a few skaters like this to rise up into
the ranks of A Group (but probably still earn their teams zero points)
Starting With A Bang
I think I’m now jumping a little bit too far ahead but
next year’s World Cup circuit starts in Salt Lake City. Now, usually I wouldn’t
care too much, but next year is also an Olympic year and only the first 4 World
Cups count as qualifiers. Since the Olympics are such a big deal, and time
quota spots are so valuable, there’s a good chance a lot of skaters will be
looking to earn their Olympic spots on the fastest ice on the circuit. That’s
usually Salt Lake City, which means the first weekend of racing might be one of
the feistiest and most important weekends of the year. I dunno about you, but I’m
already pumped.
That’s it for today. Racing starts this Friday for
World Cup 4 in Milwaukee so make sure you get your roster changes in by 11:59
PM Mountain Time this coming Thursday. Happy World Cup watching!
Cheers,
Dad